Friday, September 3, 2010

Is it Magic?

So many months have passed and I wish that I could say that I had accomplished something wonderful and that I had experienced all kinds of magical things...and in a way we did.

We all finished our semesters and it was magical that I passed statistics and then everything else I had to do when that was done.

We have actually had 2 summer vacations, the first in June to Disneyland with Kate, Cam, Rick & Sarah and Jakie and Ricky. Disneyland was fun and it was fun to see the excitement and wonder on the faces of two beautiful little boys...the meltdowns weren't so fun, but they are a part of what happens when you just have too much fun! It was good to see Jakie as always and get to know Ricky a little more. Of course we loved to be with Rick and Sarah as well. It seems so long ago that they lived just around the corner and we saw them every day.

Ricky had his first birthday while we were there. We found a large cupcake that ended up being what he got to eat all by himself. We didn't have the usual high-chair to keep him in one place...so he squished it with his hands and between his toes...but most of all he was mad because he couldn't eat the frosting that was on his feet, on his hands and a good dose of it on his tummy...I do believe that some made it into his tummy...not sure how much. It was a great time! I always have to shed some tears when we say so-long, because it is soooo long before we get to see them all again.

Because I had to eat up some vacation hours, for the second vacation, Kate and I went out to Pittsburg in August (while Cam went to Havasupai w/friends). We overlapped a little d/t Katie's school and my work schedules, but we each got to spend about 5 days there. We had some strange travel itineraries, but we made it without incident and survived the long lay-overs and delays. Katie brought Jake his really fun back pack for his first school year (A ninja turtle turtle-shell..it looks like the real deal and the green looks great with his cute red hair) and we took him school shopping for everything he needed to put in it. He was just sure he needed a lunch box...he was pushing for staying at school for lunch...so he has a lunch box, but probably will not be using it at school until next year. Rick took a couple of days off and we traveled north to Erie to see the lake ...it's so big you think you're at the ocean...if there had been waves crashing the beach, we couldn't have differentiated. It was a pretty drive!

Another day we traveled over to Kirtland...the back way, starting at the John Johnson farm...it again was beautiful as we traveled through the rolling hills...it was a reverent place to be. By the time we got home though, the kids had had it with riding restrained in the car. Little Ricky was to the point of hysteria...he protected his car-seat space and didn't want anyone to "cross the line"...he was much happier to run around and play ball in the house....ahhh the simple things. When Grandpa came, he never worried about where to go or what to do to be entertained, Jakie was enough for him.

We have all passed the year marking the time when Dad moved on to something better. There have been ups and downs...but most of all there has been a peace in knowing that he lives., he loves us and worries of the world are not a worry to him any longer. If there is worry there, it is spent on us and what we are doing and how well we are doing it. If there is food there, he is cooking up a storm!!!!

Someone told me that the second year is harder than the first...I am beginning to see that. The first weeks and months are spent in coping...now there are specifics that I see where I am actually without my counselor, cheerleader and friend...I never was good at being my own cheerleader. And, in fact, all the things that I was never very good at are painfully clear now. Somehow they didn't magically get better in the process.

But there is magic in the way that I watch my family grow and mature. Some of it is painful to watch, and I want to push the magic button and save them, but it is all a part of their growth and experience and the bigger-than-life plan. Even though the mother in me wants to make it all better, I can't. I just hope to be there to guide a little and help where I can.

Now we need the magic of success in school, in work, in testimony building and in finding our life's path and staying the course....that's not magic, it's the test!.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Time flies on wings of lightening!

It has been two months since I have written and oh have we all been busy. Busy with school, busy with work and busy with the business of life. It is interesting to have three college students in the house, with three very different styles of learning. One or the other is not wrong, but very different. We keep hoping that the efforts we put into our school work will merit us something good in the end. We are now on the downhill slope of the semester, with many things due and a lot of work yet to be done....it is a bit scary, gut-wrenching to be exactly honest. Best of luck to us all. We miss our great advisor and editor so much!

We have also all had work challenges, difficult days with lots of chaos, but somehow we make it through and make it back home at night to find the things here that need attention. Cleaning, cooking, laundry, running the dog....doing the bills...it all adds up to a long day at times. But, we are glad to be busy...we might catch an episode of "Bones" from time to time...our new past time. We haven't had the time to spend on "American Idol" this year...again our musician expert is listening to something much better.

Often I think about what and who we are missing and try to fill in the spaces with other things, but the fact remains that we are all a bit lost at sea. Our rudder has taken a leave of absence. Now we need to pull together and not only remain strong, but grow by overcoming obstacles that lay in our path almost daily. We all handle these feelings and missings differently and our peaks and valleys come at different times, but we hope that we can come out with something good in the end. Now I am in that stage of feeling that it is unbelievable that I am here, doing what I am doing by myself...my true other half gone for a time. I heard someone say that they were a little awestruck with the concept of eternity, and almost a little frightened about what that must be like. That comes from our earthly eyes and intellect. We can't see eternity, but there are ways that we can feel it. I am clearly hoping that I can live in such a way to improve myself consistently, fitting a little glimpse of eternity all in my days. By so doing, we can come out with something good in the end....Because, in the end, we cannot call life back!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

A New Year

What happened to December? The last of the year is gone, Christmas came and went, a visit w/Rick's family in Pittsburgh has come and gone, a new semester has started for everyone in this house and life is busy.

With everyone's warning we approached the Holidays with a little trepidation; wondering how we would fare without our Dad. My new realization for this month was understanding more fully how quietly he went about supporting me and helping me to get to all the things I needed to and helping out with the small stuff....I didn't sweat the small stuff because of Rick's care and keeping of his wife. Now, just having to remember to do all the small stuff is enough to make me a little nuts with trying to keep all the balls in the air, and air in my balloon.

We tried to do most of our traditions during the holidays, although somewhat altered...our Chinese dinner ended up on New Year's Eve in Pittsburgh after I tried to burn up Rick's kitchen when a pyrex pan exploded and started a "butter fire" Ask Rick which direction you point a fire extinguisher and then ask me about pyrex on the top of the stove....a comedy of errors.

So we started our new year traveling home...and again, we appreciated home, the wide expanse of our valley, the majesty of our mountains and our secure home. Blessings we often take for granted as we see and experience them all every day.

Sometime early in the Fall, I attended a conference where participants were encouraged to write 5 Life's Goals...not exactly a "bucket list" but attributes we always want to have. I started to write those things a few months ago...but didn't finish. It is now my goal to make sure that I get them recorded, although I believe that one of them will be to ALWAYS look for the blessings sent to me through the people who pass through my life and then to be a blessing to someone else as I pass through theirs.

So as I start another year of "firsts"....I continue to be grateful for the love offered to me and to my family in so many ways and I am committed to help make a difference for others this year and to improve myself by determining what my 5 Life's Goals should certainly be...what are yours?

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