Saturday, April 25, 2009

Spring....

Spring....

We so enjoyed the few days of Spring that we had this week. But, alas as Spring comes so does the rain...in more ways than just getting wet. The rain does wash things clean just as some of our difficulties are trying to put us through the refiners fire and make us a little cleaner before our Father....

Sometimes I pass that test, and sometimes I fail miserably. Patience is something that has not come easily for me throughout life and certainly that trait has not changed now. Maybe it is the thing I need to learn along with a great deal of endurance and putting my trust in He that knows all good things.

I just read a little about the hymn, Be Still My Soul....it was a favorite hymn of Eric Liddlle, runner who did not run on the sabbath during an Olympic race...we know of him through "Chariots of Fire" The end of his story is interesting. He becomes a missionary and eventually is imprisoned during WW II. During his time there he teaches this hymn to comfort those with whom he rubs shoulders in the camp. When all else seems hopeless and uncontrollable...this is a glimmer of hope in the spirit of eternal things. He eventually dies in the camp, a victim of a brain tumor...something very uncontrollable, even for his captors.


Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.

Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, believing, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.
Katharina A. von Schlegel (1752)
"Thy hope thy confidence let nothing shake"
...that is my motto this Spring as we rejoice in it's newness and the hope of a brighter tomorrow, through Him who has traveled this road for us all before.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

The Perverbial "Bungee Cord"

Once again, we have experienced the opportunity to become more hopeful about Rick's treatments, the recent drug addition appeared to have drastically reduced the tumor marker...but after the second treatment, it went back up half way (so yes I am happy it isn't as high as it was, but I am left wondering if the first test was an error or just what...)

So here we are, going through some terrifically yucky side-effects from the new drug and hoping against hope that it works to some degree. We always question in the back of our minds...what would things be like if we didn't have the chemo on board...worse?? same without the side effects?? or perish the thought, better?? So many questions and not as many answers. Actually treatment is trial and error...trying everything that is supposed to work and hoping like crazy that it does. At the beginning of the week, just prior to therapy, nausea kicked in again w/some vomiting...all that doesn't make sense in the order of things...should be decreased right before treatment...but the Dr. said that "maybe that gall bladder IS causing some nausea"...ya think? We keep on plugging away and hope we are going in the right direction with everything!

Everyone has been so kind, so concerned and wanting so badly to do something to help. Honestly I don't know just what that is, but I do appreciate the offers of prayers..because honestly, faith and hope are what we have that we can be sure of. After listening to the first two sessions of conference...there are some things I need to get straightened around with "exactness" .... I am certainly not perfect and need to improve myself a lot more....the other words that sunk in with great power were "endure it well..." I keep working on that!

I love my family, and I am certainly glad that we are bound together by something greater than that bungee cord...there is only progression in store for us all...hopefully we don't fall back too much in that much more important goal of attaining eternal life..love to all.

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