Welllllll....Christmas really is here, just a few days or "sleeps." (the kids used to countdown that way.) Without the laughter of Jakie, it proves to be a sedate-adult kind of a day. We hope to be able to make the computer a part of our day to see him and his child-like joy. This will actually be the first Christmas of his 4 that we haven't had him here....he and ihis mom and dad of course....will be missed.
On the other hand, we are glad and grateful that we have all four of the rest of our family present in our home, it has been a blessing for us. Between the four of us, we can come up with a list of blessings that have been given to us by our Savior, whose life we celebrate at this time. As we look toward our future, we know He is with us by our sides, every step of the way. There are times when I have to remind myself of that fact, over and over. On that basis, I am grateful for the Christmas season that provides me with visual and musical reminders of that fact. I know he lives and loves us and knows we can withstand the challenges and yes, sometimes obstacles that we have before us. May we do so gracefully and full of gratitude.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Is it Christmas Already?
I can't believe it is soon to be Christmas...the last two months have flown by, well, wait a minute...some things have dragged, some things have been a blurrrr, and probably some things I have missed altogether. Nonetheless, Christmas is coming, ready or not!
A friend e-mailed me earlier this week and said with quite a bit of sarcasm, that she was up early the day after Thanksgiving, wondering if I was already out shopping. She said that I provided her with a smile at 4 in the morning. Anyone who knows me well, knows only too well that I am generally not much of a shopper and that my Christmas shopping is usually done between the 20th and 25th of December...and wrapping it all...well that's another story for another day.
An update on our family:
Rick has completed his 4th round of Chemo this week. He is starting to dread going to the clinic and being poked and prodded and then he starts thinking about how he feels afterward...let's say this, he doesn't warmly anticipate this process every other week. Some of the lab tests (cancer markers) are coming down, which is a good thing, but as with anything medical, there are many unknowns. He is eating some and not losing weight at the rapid pace that he was and he is sleeping....so we are feeling better about those things.
Katie is keeping busy taking care of Rick's every need, she is a little like a doberman that way, fiercely protective...she knows what he is doing every minute! (It is a comfort to know she is in charge when I am not here) She is working a little and planning her Spring semester and getting ready to be very poor (after tuition is paid). I have learned in my longer life that education is really never wasted...and believe it or not, learning invigorates a person. That's my hope for her in January. Rick and I hate to see her put life on hold because if you know Katie, you know she has always been so full of life!
Cam has been juggling jobs, applications for school, getting refunds and documentation from Utah State and trying to settle in back in Provo. He too has been a great support and is a bit on the too serious side. I think he has been glad he made the choice to come home, but he misses his friends and the social life that he had at Utah State. It is hard to come back to "boring" at home. He is now working at UVRMC as a PCA, just completing the training this week. He has enjoyed the work. He is still trying to work prn at Jamestown. He enjoys most of the residents there and easily develops relationships with them...one thing about it, they don't mince any words. On his shift Thursday, a resident asked if he was married, when he replied that he wasn't, she told him he better hurry up because he was losing his hair. Well, if you know Cam, that touched a sore spot for him (at least about the hair..not sure about the marriage part!) He too has been a great help to all of us. He is beginning to see me coming with things I need him to do...but most of the time, he just does it as a part of his "schedule and planning."
Rick, Sarah and Jakie have settled back into life in Pittsburgh. They are looking at being away for Christmas for the first time since they married almost 6 years ago. Sarah is struggling with morning-sickness, but trying to focus on the end-reward. Their new baby will come in June sometime. Jake is terribly missed in this house. We try to keep in touch with phone calls, but it isn't the same as having him want to sleep (or jump) in your bed or play any number of imagination games with you..funny while on the phone or computer he wants you to see whatever he has in his hand or in his mind....after having spent a month here, he often says he wants to come "over" to our house. He forgets that it takes a day on planes to get "over" here. Rick is doing well w/his fellowship and is learning every day and yet still making a great contribution to the organization.
Rick is balancing appointments, medicines, paperwork and monitoring potential sales of business property...trying to simplify our lives a little. He really is great to try to keep going when the going is tough, I do believe it helps the psyche....however, he hasn't gotten up enough energy to get the Christmas decorations out....we would like a good Christmas fairy to come and decorate for us...somehow that process does not get simplified over time. Most of the time, the down sides are balanced with the good and he is handling things pretty well....
As for me, I continue to go to work, and try like crazy to be effective there and escape from time to time for Rick's appts where I can. I miss the frenzy of school and the learning that goes with that. I miss the primary kids. I am grateful for the friends and neighbors that are so graciously serving us. If you know me well, you know that is probably the most difficult thing for me...to allow others to serve. That is one of my challenges for now. I am amazed at all those who sincerely want to serve...and those who just do what they can. Example: Our next door neighbors bring us dinner every Thursday night...they are so sweet to us. When I look at them in their late 80's...I am glad their are willing and able to serve...I think often it is I that should be helping and serving them.
Well, off to my Saturday...it is going to be packed with activity...for you who might read this, thank you all for your prayers. That is the thing that keeps us going, knowing that there are so many people who petition our Heavenly Father regularly on our behalf...may we be worthy of those prayers and the beneficiaries of the blessings sent.
A friend e-mailed me earlier this week and said with quite a bit of sarcasm, that she was up early the day after Thanksgiving, wondering if I was already out shopping. She said that I provided her with a smile at 4 in the morning. Anyone who knows me well, knows only too well that I am generally not much of a shopper and that my Christmas shopping is usually done between the 20th and 25th of December...and wrapping it all...well that's another story for another day.
An update on our family:
Rick has completed his 4th round of Chemo this week. He is starting to dread going to the clinic and being poked and prodded and then he starts thinking about how he feels afterward...let's say this, he doesn't warmly anticipate this process every other week. Some of the lab tests (cancer markers) are coming down, which is a good thing, but as with anything medical, there are many unknowns. He is eating some and not losing weight at the rapid pace that he was and he is sleeping....so we are feeling better about those things.
Katie is keeping busy taking care of Rick's every need, she is a little like a doberman that way, fiercely protective...she knows what he is doing every minute! (It is a comfort to know she is in charge when I am not here) She is working a little and planning her Spring semester and getting ready to be very poor (after tuition is paid). I have learned in my longer life that education is really never wasted...and believe it or not, learning invigorates a person. That's my hope for her in January. Rick and I hate to see her put life on hold because if you know Katie, you know she has always been so full of life!
Cam has been juggling jobs, applications for school, getting refunds and documentation from Utah State and trying to settle in back in Provo. He too has been a great support and is a bit on the too serious side. I think he has been glad he made the choice to come home, but he misses his friends and the social life that he had at Utah State. It is hard to come back to "boring" at home. He is now working at UVRMC as a PCA, just completing the training this week. He has enjoyed the work. He is still trying to work prn at Jamestown. He enjoys most of the residents there and easily develops relationships with them...one thing about it, they don't mince any words. On his shift Thursday, a resident asked if he was married, when he replied that he wasn't, she told him he better hurry up because he was losing his hair. Well, if you know Cam, that touched a sore spot for him (at least about the hair..not sure about the marriage part!) He too has been a great help to all of us. He is beginning to see me coming with things I need him to do...but most of the time, he just does it as a part of his "schedule and planning."
Rick, Sarah and Jakie have settled back into life in Pittsburgh. They are looking at being away for Christmas for the first time since they married almost 6 years ago. Sarah is struggling with morning-sickness, but trying to focus on the end-reward. Their new baby will come in June sometime. Jake is terribly missed in this house. We try to keep in touch with phone calls, but it isn't the same as having him want to sleep (or jump) in your bed or play any number of imagination games with you..funny while on the phone or computer he wants you to see whatever he has in his hand or in his mind....after having spent a month here, he often says he wants to come "over" to our house. He forgets that it takes a day on planes to get "over" here. Rick is doing well w/his fellowship and is learning every day and yet still making a great contribution to the organization.
Rick is balancing appointments, medicines, paperwork and monitoring potential sales of business property...trying to simplify our lives a little. He really is great to try to keep going when the going is tough, I do believe it helps the psyche....however, he hasn't gotten up enough energy to get the Christmas decorations out....we would like a good Christmas fairy to come and decorate for us...somehow that process does not get simplified over time. Most of the time, the down sides are balanced with the good and he is handling things pretty well....
As for me, I continue to go to work, and try like crazy to be effective there and escape from time to time for Rick's appts where I can. I miss the frenzy of school and the learning that goes with that. I miss the primary kids. I am grateful for the friends and neighbors that are so graciously serving us. If you know me well, you know that is probably the most difficult thing for me...to allow others to serve. That is one of my challenges for now. I am amazed at all those who sincerely want to serve...and those who just do what they can. Example: Our next door neighbors bring us dinner every Thursday night...they are so sweet to us. When I look at them in their late 80's...I am glad their are willing and able to serve...I think often it is I that should be helping and serving them.
Well, off to my Saturday...it is going to be packed with activity...for you who might read this, thank you all for your prayers. That is the thing that keeps us going, knowing that there are so many people who petition our Heavenly Father regularly on our behalf...may we be worthy of those prayers and the beneficiaries of the blessings sent.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Where does time go? Especially when it is so precious..
Halloween and the events of the last post seem far away! The last week has brought another round of chemo for Dad and all the not-so-fun effects of it. Yesterday marked 6 weeks of knowing about and trying to treat his Cancer. It has been a roller-coaster of emotions. Seems like just when things seem to be improving, and hope is budding, we come crashing down again with some little (or big) down-turn. It is difficult to keep emotions in check and sometimes they come out in all the wrong ways. I was just reading about how the positive effects of hope and attitude that are believed to help in this whole situation. One quote was that hope and being positive is like religion, a personal belief. I know that my religion matters, so should my hope and yes, sometimes my pleading.
A friend of mine had this to say about our particular challenge:
"The outcome of your current health challenge is already determined and you will be blessed greatly for passing through this with faith and courage."
I have thought a lot about Heavenly Father knowing the outcome and His care and concern for us at this time. I have also felt the closeness of those who love us on the other side of the veil. There is concern felt and wishes that they could alleviate the pain of it all. And, on this side of the veil, there are many who continue to be concerned and express their love for Rick and for our family. Even last night, Rick took a call from Katie's mission president who had rec'd the word that Katie had deferred her call. He left a sweet message of love with us and an open invitation and open arms for her to come when she can. Can we really ask for more? Yes, I can ask for more faith in Heavenly Father's plan for us....it is needed.
A friend of mine had this to say about our particular challenge:
"The outcome of your current health challenge is already determined and you will be blessed greatly for passing through this with faith and courage."
I have thought a lot about Heavenly Father knowing the outcome and His care and concern for us at this time. I have also felt the closeness of those who love us on the other side of the veil. There is concern felt and wishes that they could alleviate the pain of it all. And, on this side of the veil, there are many who continue to be concerned and express their love for Rick and for our family. Even last night, Rick took a call from Katie's mission president who had rec'd the word that Katie had deferred her call. He left a sweet message of love with us and an open invitation and open arms for her to come when she can. Can we really ask for more? Yes, I can ask for more faith in Heavenly Father's plan for us....it is needed.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Halloween n' Stuff
Wow, this last week has been a whirlwind of events. Most fun had to be Jake and Halloween...Jake was Mr. Incredible (prounounced Mr. Credible) and had a marvelous time. His enthusiasm is difficult, if not impossible to describe...no matter what it is he is excited about. He was excited to wear his costume (not so excited to wear the mask, so I did (see the pic), so excited to trick-or-treat; so excited to answer Grandmother's door and give kids candy either out of the bowl or out of his own stash it didn't matter. But he was profuse with the compliments, my personal favorite was, "oooohhhh, you look sooo pretty" It was an appreciative compliment and gave me a glimpse into the future when he has a pretty princess on his arm. But for now, he was excited to eat about everything in his little pumpkin in a few hours...probably a good thing.
We have had everyone here this week under one roof...what a blessing! Rick has been here since Wednesday and I have appreciated his efforts to come and be here for a few days...it has been good for him and good for us. I am sure it is hard to leave his little family here for another two weeks, but hopefully he can work hard and get things ready for their return. They are talking about moving from their apartment....I would hate thinking about it (not because it is an amazing apt, but just the packing and moving AND in winter). But they are young and seem not to be bothered by the prospect, they have gotten a taste of what the utility bills are like and it isn't pretty, apparently their apt is not well insulated....decisions, decisions. I hate to see Rick leave, I feel like we haven't had much chance to talk...but time flies and he leaves in an hour or so...and so the day goes. Cam works, Katie takes Dad in for Chemo, I work and Sarah takes Rick to the airport...a busy day. And life goes on.....
It is good to know that when we all return from things today that we will be met by the excited voice of a three year old...we are trying not to count the days before we won't hear it except over the phone for a few seconds...we have seen how busy he is and how quickly he likes to get on and off the phone...puts life into perspective and we see what we are asking him to do every day when he's not here. But we'll still need our "Jakie fix" each day.
Today we vote. That's about all I can say, except that when I reviewed the sample ballot, there were some other options for President that I wasn't aware of, maybe I'll do a little research :) (Although, I think I can eliminate Ralph Nader) We are in for some rocky years I think, I guess we hang on for the ride and see what 4 years brings for us in our country.
Is this post is eclectic enough????...Katie says this is my journal...and that's about what it is.
We have had everyone here this week under one roof...what a blessing! Rick has been here since Wednesday and I have appreciated his efforts to come and be here for a few days...it has been good for him and good for us. I am sure it is hard to leave his little family here for another two weeks, but hopefully he can work hard and get things ready for their return. They are talking about moving from their apartment....I would hate thinking about it (not because it is an amazing apt, but just the packing and moving AND in winter). But they are young and seem not to be bothered by the prospect, they have gotten a taste of what the utility bills are like and it isn't pretty, apparently their apt is not well insulated....decisions, decisions. I hate to see Rick leave, I feel like we haven't had much chance to talk...but time flies and he leaves in an hour or so...and so the day goes. Cam works, Katie takes Dad in for Chemo, I work and Sarah takes Rick to the airport...a busy day. And life goes on.....
It is good to know that when we all return from things today that we will be met by the excited voice of a three year old...we are trying not to count the days before we won't hear it except over the phone for a few seconds...we have seen how busy he is and how quickly he likes to get on and off the phone...puts life into perspective and we see what we are asking him to do every day when he's not here. But we'll still need our "Jakie fix" each day.
Today we vote. That's about all I can say, except that when I reviewed the sample ballot, there were some other options for President that I wasn't aware of, maybe I'll do a little research :) (Although, I think I can eliminate Ralph Nader) We are in for some rocky years I think, I guess we hang on for the ride and see what 4 years brings for us in our country.
Is this post is eclectic enough????...Katie says this is my journal...and that's about what it is.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Gratitude
Yesterday I realized that it was one month ago today that Rick had surgery to define the challenges he will have for the rest of his life...made me wonder what we have accomplished and if we've grown the way we should over the last month. We have certainly been blessed by many caring family and friends who have helped in many ways, most frequently by their quiet prayers. As Rick returned from surgery again today (to place a port line)..I wondered, where the month had gone and if we were improved people. There is always a way to be better...we have decided we have many ways to grow!
We have certainly been busy. Cam has moved home and has secured two part-time jobs and is calling this his "summer" He will be picking up one or two online classes to fill some requirements that are added in his planned transfer to BYU this Spring/Summer. He has been busily planning with counselors etc. to organize his continued education. He has been a tremendous help to us in the last month! We are sad he had to interrupt his educational plans, but glad he is here.
Katie has also made some very difficult decisions. She rec'd her mission call to Oakland, California. She has always wanted to be a California girl and this was her chance! After much counsel and prayer, she has decided to defer her call for a while to see how things work out here at home. She too has kicked into her organizing and care-taker role and has gone with Dad to appts etc. and filled in where I couldn't be there. Dad says that she is bossy, but that's in a good way. She keeps track of the details and makes sure that everyone is taking the best care of him that they should. We love and appreciate her for that...again we are sad that the immediate plans in her life are on hold...we want the best for her and want her to continue progressing in her happiness!
Sarah and Jake came last Wednesday, a day late d/t Jake's fall down their stairs and his subsequent ER visit to set and cast his broken arm. He was in pain for a couple of days, but since then, he hardly knows he is casted from his fingers to high on his upper arm. He has been a ray of sunshine and he and grandpa have been playing cub-scout and camping...where have all my flashlights gone????? Rick was not able to come as planned, but deferred his trip until yesterday. It is good to have everyone under one roof again. We'll have that for at least a few days. We are grateful for their little family and for the second grandchild that will join us in the early summer. We pray for Sarah and her ability to be healthy and strong in body and spirit. We constantly pray for Rick's continued success and ability to care for his family. Funny how you never quite feel that you aren't totally responsible for those things anymore....We love and appreciate them all!
So if I were to summarize my month, the word that comes to mind is Gratitude...so much to be grateful for...even challenges that smooth our rough edges...We love our family!
We have certainly been busy. Cam has moved home and has secured two part-time jobs and is calling this his "summer" He will be picking up one or two online classes to fill some requirements that are added in his planned transfer to BYU this Spring/Summer. He has been busily planning with counselors etc. to organize his continued education. He has been a tremendous help to us in the last month! We are sad he had to interrupt his educational plans, but glad he is here.
Katie has also made some very difficult decisions. She rec'd her mission call to Oakland, California. She has always wanted to be a California girl and this was her chance! After much counsel and prayer, she has decided to defer her call for a while to see how things work out here at home. She too has kicked into her organizing and care-taker role and has gone with Dad to appts etc. and filled in where I couldn't be there. Dad says that she is bossy, but that's in a good way. She keeps track of the details and makes sure that everyone is taking the best care of him that they should. We love and appreciate her for that...again we are sad that the immediate plans in her life are on hold...we want the best for her and want her to continue progressing in her happiness!
Sarah and Jake came last Wednesday, a day late d/t Jake's fall down their stairs and his subsequent ER visit to set and cast his broken arm. He was in pain for a couple of days, but since then, he hardly knows he is casted from his fingers to high on his upper arm. He has been a ray of sunshine and he and grandpa have been playing cub-scout and camping...where have all my flashlights gone????? Rick was not able to come as planned, but deferred his trip until yesterday. It is good to have everyone under one roof again. We'll have that for at least a few days. We are grateful for their little family and for the second grandchild that will join us in the early summer. We pray for Sarah and her ability to be healthy and strong in body and spirit. We constantly pray for Rick's continued success and ability to care for his family. Funny how you never quite feel that you aren't totally responsible for those things anymore....We love and appreciate them all!
So if I were to summarize my month, the word that comes to mind is Gratitude...so much to be grateful for...even challenges that smooth our rough edges...We love our family!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
....Jakie....
Jakie called tonight and guess what he sang to me??? A Child's Prayer, with a pretty good semblance of the tune. Could be with a little help from his Dad, but again, music soothes my soul.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Music of my heart...
Today in Primary, we happened to sing "A Child's Prayer" For those who may not remember the words here they are some of them...
Heavenly Father, are you really there?
And do you hear and answer ev’ry child’s prayer?
Some say that heaven is far away,
But I feel it close around me as I pray.
Heavenly Father, I remember now
Something that Jesus told disciples long ago:
“Suffer the children to come to me.”
Father, in prayer I’m coming now to thee.
Pray, he is there;
Speak, he is list’ning.
You are his child;
His love now surrounds you.
He hears your prayer;
He loves the children.
Of such is the kingdom, the kingdom of heav’n.
(Words and music: Janice Kapp Perry, b. 1938)
Those words spoke to my fragile heart today. My 9-year old primary boys probably wondered what on earth was the matter with me, but in fact, the windows of heaven opened for a moment and comforted me with the words...and His spirit, His love did surround me.
Yesterday, I was driving toward Dad's funeral and heard an instrumental version of "Dearest Children, God is Near You." I was humming along when those words made me stand at attention.
Dearest Children, God is near you;
Watching o'er you day and night;
And delights to own and bless you;
If you try to do what's right.
He will bless you!
He will bless you!
If you put your trust in Him.
We have been laying our burdens at the Savior's feet and trusting in Him that he knows best and will help and support us. I felt that this song came to my mind as a witness to His promise to care for us. Another Tender Mercy.
Today as Katie contemplates her mission and when to go... again I was touched by music:
Do What is Right...#237
The third verse:
Do what is right, be faithful and fearless.
Onward, press onward the goal is in sight.
Eyes that are wet now ere long will be tearless.
Blessings await you in doing what's right!
Too many applications to be coincidence. My soul has been soothed by the music we love. I will never sing these songs in the same way again. I thank our Heavenly Father for his care and keeping of me this day as He always has. I wish it hadn't taken this sort of shock to help me remember who I am and who loves me and my family; and who will do about anything to calm a troubled heart. I love my Father in Heaven, and my brother, the Savior Jesus Christ.
Heavenly Father, are you really there?
And do you hear and answer ev’ry child’s prayer?
Some say that heaven is far away,
But I feel it close around me as I pray.
Heavenly Father, I remember now
Something that Jesus told disciples long ago:
“Suffer the children to come to me.”
Father, in prayer I’m coming now to thee.
Pray, he is there;
Speak, he is list’ning.
You are his child;
His love now surrounds you.
He hears your prayer;
He loves the children.
Of such is the kingdom, the kingdom of heav’n.
(Words and music: Janice Kapp Perry, b. 1938)
Those words spoke to my fragile heart today. My 9-year old primary boys probably wondered what on earth was the matter with me, but in fact, the windows of heaven opened for a moment and comforted me with the words...and His spirit, His love did surround me.
Yesterday, I was driving toward Dad's funeral and heard an instrumental version of "Dearest Children, God is Near You." I was humming along when those words made me stand at attention.
Dearest Children, God is near you;
Watching o'er you day and night;
And delights to own and bless you;
If you try to do what's right.
He will bless you!
He will bless you!
If you put your trust in Him.
We have been laying our burdens at the Savior's feet and trusting in Him that he knows best and will help and support us. I felt that this song came to my mind as a witness to His promise to care for us. Another Tender Mercy.
Today as Katie contemplates her mission and when to go... again I was touched by music:
Do What is Right...#237
The third verse:
Do what is right, be faithful and fearless.
Onward, press onward the goal is in sight.
Eyes that are wet now ere long will be tearless.
Blessings await you in doing what's right!
Too many applications to be coincidence. My soul has been soothed by the music we love. I will never sing these songs in the same way again. I thank our Heavenly Father for his care and keeping of me this day as He always has. I wish it hadn't taken this sort of shock to help me remember who I am and who loves me and my family; and who will do about anything to calm a troubled heart. I love my Father in Heaven, and my brother, the Savior Jesus Christ.
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